Facebook Memes

I was at a training at work last week and the class got a little off topic

Some executive started talking about a rumor about how Facebook was secretly listening in on other peoples’ conversations through a phone’s mic. Then it would take those conversations and show ads related to what was said.

I’ve heard of this before and maybe the other people in the group had, but the training suddenly got derailed.

Suddenly people couldn’t stop talking about how Facebook was listening to everything they were doing. It was such a hot topic.

These people literally made more than I did and some were older than me by a decade, but they were telling each other to either uninstall the app from their phone, or just not have it open.

It made me miss the good old days of Facebook, when it was just college students. Now peoples’ loser moms are logged on just going nuts.

Is all this Facebook spying true? I don’t know.

I’ve typed stuff into Google and then all of a sudden, wouldn’t you know it, Facebook gave me an ad for something that I searched the day before.

I started researching wedding stuff and I ended up seeing ads for tuxedos and engagement rings on my Facebook.

There’s no doubt about it, Facebook is definitely selling info to advertisers based on searches.

The whole listening thing though, I don’t really know that’s true and I don’t really care.

Let’s just say for the sake of the argument, that Facebook is actually listening to every conversation in the world…

There’s like 1 billion Facebook users. Do you know how much fucking data Facebook would be collecting everyday?

And THEN you have to crunch that data and deliver it to advertisers.

I don’t know about you, but that just seems like a lot of work.

And what’s scarier? Facebook listening to your every day conversations or Facebook mining through your whole entire Internet history?

Just think of all the porn you watched, or all the things you searched that you really don’t want people to know about.

I’ll tell you, even if Facebook could do it, they wouldn’t be interested in your conversations with people. They’re more interested in your secret thoughts. Thoughts equal buying decisions, not small talk.

I will tell you though, Facebook has taken a backseat on my phone lately and it wasn’t because of privacy issues.

What people don’t talk about is Facebook is just a giant fucking time suck. It’s already cost me hours of productivity time that I can’t get back.

All the times I wish I was reading a good book, or spending time with my family? Gone.

All that scrolling and nothing on the site is ever that interesting anyways.

I didn’t delete my account. I’m not one of those people who decide they’ve had enough of Facebook, get butt hurt, delete it, but then months later, they return. That’s a never ending, vicious cycle.

I haven’t deleted my account, but I do check it twice a day. Once in the morning and then once at night to see if there’s any notifications, and that’s it.

And I don’t miss it at all.

I remember two years ago I went on a cruise and we didn’t pay for Wi-Fi, so I just went without Facebook for a week.

By the end of the week, I remember feeling the fear that I was missing out on some big news, AKA FOMO.

But by the time I got all caught up on my news feed, there was no big payoff. I didn’t feel like I missed out.

So my challenge to you: Start your day and check Facebook.

And then don’t do it. All day.

It’ll hurt like hell. You’ll want to check to see if you’re tagged in anything.

You’ll be standing in line somewhere waiting, being bored and wanting to scroll through your feed…

One of your co-workers will ask you, ‘Did you see what happened to Tim? Holy shit!’ And you’ll want to check it.

But hold off until later that night just before you go to bed. It’ll hurt…

But you’ll be amazed at how much you DIDN’T miss.

Your battery life on your phone will last longer because you aren’t checking it every 10 minutes…

You won’t miss major plot points during Netflix shows because you won’t be scrolling through something else.

Conversations at dinners will increase by 60 percent.

You get the hint. Less Facebook in your life.

It’s for loser Moms anyways.

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